I often read articles that express ideas in a unique and impactful way, even though the subject matter might not be novel or original. I particularly enjoy work by a (self-professed) dude who goes by the name of Mark Manson and has a best selling book – the title of which I will refrain from naming due to some readers possible sensitivity around the use of profane language. The title of a recent piece by MM might also prevent some people from reading further but, I am going to pass on some of his ideas as I feel this guy knows a fair bit about life!
The article is subtitled, “The Ultimate Guide to Personal Values” and that’s what drew my attention as it seems right now this topic is very top of mind. In our coaching model, the need to determine a client’s values is essential. In my current research it keeps popping up in interviews and this blog is going to summarise some key points around discovering and living our values!
Key point Number 1: Who do you want to be?
If you want to be a “better person” you must first define what that is. In which direction do you wish to grow? Many people think they want to be “happier” yet if their values are, let’s say, questionable, feeling better may not be the way to improve their life.
Key point Number 2: Every minute of the day we choose a value
Every moment of every day we choose what we do, what we focus on, where we spend our energy according to our values. At the moment we do anything at all, we are placing a value on something. Whether you read this article, take a cigarette break, go for a run or have sleep, that action is value driven!
Key point Number 3: Our values are constantly reflected in the way we choose to behave.
Key point Number 4: Values define us.
Key point Number 5: We need to value something bigger than ourselves
Key point Number 6: Values are based on experience
Key point Number 7: Values can be good or bad – healthy or harmful
Healthy values are:
Unhealthy values are:
Let’s give an example of the last element. A value that is outside our total control is money. To a certain extent we can control how much we earn and how we spend it, but there are many events that may occur that may take that money away. If you lose money and everything you value is about money, you may lose your perceived purpose for living! And money can have its dark side. Paying taxes, not knowing who to trust, losing the drive to work can all reveal this value as one that does not bring happiness.
Key point Number 8: Values can be replaced with new ones
So let’s all do that exercise I described. It can be very revealing as to who we are, what we value and how we are living.
Reference: www. markmanson.net