We live in a time of constant connection – messages, updates, pings, and scrolls that fill every spare moment. On the surface, it can feel like we’re part of a massive online community, more “connected” than ever before. But if you pause for just a second, you might notice a creeping feeling underneath it all: disconnection. Loneliness. A sense that something’s missing, even when your phone is buzzing with notifications.
It’s a strange paradox. We’re surrounded by digital noise, yet starved for meaningful interaction. Many of us have forgotten what it feels like to be fully present—with ourselves, with others, even with nature. We instinctively reach for our phones when
there’s a quiet moment, and we’ve come to rely on digital tools not just for productivity, but for validation, distraction, and sometimes even comfort.
So what do we do when the thing that makes us feel isolated is also the thing we depend on every day? How do we step back when it feels like we can’t live without it?
We start small. We take back little pockets of time, protect small moments of presence, and slowly rebuild our capacity for deeper connection—both with others and within ourselves. While the problem may feel overwhelming, there are ways to
reclaim our attention, our focus, and our joy.
Here are some practical steps that can help:
Try a Tech Detox
Taking a break from technology can offer a welcome sense of relief. Even a short “detox” can highlight just how much time and mental energy we’re giving away without realising it. Tools like app timers or a “kSafe” (a lockable phone container)
can physically remove the temptation, giving us space for other activities—reading, walking, connecting.
But it’s worth remembering: while tech detoxes are great circuit breakers, they don’t address the underlying habits or systems that pull us back in. They’re a great place to start, but not a long-term fix on their own.
Schedule Pre-Determined Breaks
Relying on willpower alone rarely works. Instead, planning device-free time in advance makes it easier to build sustainable habits. Try scheduling specific times in your day or week where your phone is off, notifications are silenced, and your attention is yours again. Even short windows of uninterrupted time can create powerful ripple effects.
Read Fiction
This might surprise you—but reading novels is more than just a lovely escape. It actually strengthens your brain’s ability to imagine, empathise, and sit with complex emotions. Research shows that regular fiction readers are better at interpreting others’ feelings and perspectives. For coaches and anyone working with people, it’s like an empathy gym—nurturing the very skills that deepen human connection.
So next time you reach for your phone, consider picking up a novel instead. Your brain (and your relationships) will thank you.
Let Your Mind Wander
We hear a lot about the importance of focus—and yes, focused attention is crucial. But equally important is the ability to let your mind drift. Daydreaming is not wasted time; it’s where creativity, meaning-making, and future-planning happen.
When we give ourselves space to reflect, we start to:
Make sense of our experiences
Connect seemingly unrelated ideas
Mentally rehearse or prepare for what’s ahead
Just a note: if you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, be mindful that mind- wandering doesn’t slip into unhelpful rumination. But in the right context, it’s a powerful tool.
Understand and Resist Algorithms
This one’s big. Social media and online platforms are designed to keep us hooked.
Algorithms learn our habits and feed us more of what will keep us scrolling—often at the cost of our time, our values, and even our mood.
Being aware of this manipulation is the first step. You can then take action—set limits, curate your feed, engage with intention. Reclaiming your attention is a quiet act of rebellion. And it’s how we start to take our lives back.
Ultimately, tackling digital isolation isn’t just about ditching your phone (though that can help!). It’s about making small but intentional choices—day by day—that put you back in the driver’s seat. As Johann Hari reminds us, solving our attention crisis isn’t just a personal journey—it’s a collective one.
When we choose presence over distraction, conversation over scrolling, and real connection over quick dopamine hits, we’re not just helping ourselves—we’re creating the kind of world we all want to live in.
Reference: Hari, Johann. Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—and How
to Think Deeply Again. Bloomsbury, 2022.
