Let’s be honest, the word worry tends to trigger… well, worry. Most of us know the feeling of our minds spiraling through endless “what ifs,” often in the quiet hours when we need rest the most. And while we might label it unhelpful or even harmful, worry can also feel strangely necessary — as though it’s helping us prepare, show we care, or stay in control. But is it?
In the world of health coaching, we often explore the stories we tell ourselves, and worry is full of stories. Stories about what could go wrong. Stories about what might happen if we let our guard down. Stories about who we are if we don’t worry. So what is worry, really?
The Nature of Worry
Worrying is a mental habit, one that involves rehearsing possible (usually negative) outcomes to future events. It often shows up as a loop: imagining a problem, predicting what could go wrong, and mentally bracing for impact. It’s a way of trying to gain control in the face of uncertainty.
At its core, worry is future-focused thinking. It gives the illusion of productivity, while often leaving us exhausted, anxious, or frozen in inaction.
Why We Think Worry Helps
Interestingly, many people carry deeply rooted beliefs that worry serves a purpose. These beliefs often go unexamined, but they can keep us stuck in unhelpful mental patterns. For example:
- “Worrying prepares me for the worst.”
In reality, it may rob us of peace in the present — often without changing the outcome at all. - “Worrying shows I care.”
There are many meaningful ways to care — listening, helping, showing up — that don’t involve personal distress. - “Worrying is how I solve problems.”
While reflection is a key part of problem-solving, worry tends to spin in circles rather than lead to clear action. - “If I worry enough, I can stop bad things from happening.”
As magical thinking goes, this one is powerful — and often unconscious. But it gives us the illusion of control, not real influence.
Unpacking these beliefs is the first step to loosening worry’s grip.
Health Coaching Reflection: What’s Underneath the Worry?
As Health and Wellness Coaches (or future coaches), it’s useful to ask: What’s really driving this worry?
Often, it’s fear — of uncertainty, of loss, of not being enough. And while fear is natural, when it disguises itself as helpful overthinking, it can become a barrier to clarity and confidence.
In a health coaching context, gently challenging the usefulness of worry can open space for something more constructive like action, acceptance, or self-compassion.
A few powerful questions to reflect on ourselves or use with clients:
- What am I afraid might happen?
- Is this something I can influence or control?
- What would I do if I wasn’t stuck in worry?
- What belief is feeding this thought, and is it actually true?
What to Do Instead
Instead of pushing worry away (which rarely works), we can notice it, name it, and gently shift into more useful territory. For example:
- Set “Worry Time.” Allow yourself a small window each day to write down or reflect on your worries in a “worry pad” and then move on.
- Move into action. Even one small step forward can interrupt the worry loop and create momentum.
- Focus on what you can control. This simple reframe brings clarity and calm.
- Practice grounding. Breath, movement, or mindfulness techniques can help settle the nervous system and bring us back to the present.
Final Thought
Worry isn’t weakness. It’s often a sign that we care deeply, want things to go well, or fear uncertainty. But when we examine the stories behind our worry, we can choose how much space it gets to take up and whether it still serves us.
Curious to explore your relationship with worry or help clients shift theirs? This might be the perfect moment to pause, reflect, and experiment with a new way of thinking.
